To justify her domineering and arrogant behavior, a mother-in-law may explain that she behaves this way because she cares about you and your family. By now, you must have figured out the problems with the mother-in-law that drive you crazy. Maybe it`s their rude remarks, condescending tone, or harassment that annoys you. Either way, identify the triggers so you know when to hold your tongue or walk away. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can defuse situations. If you want to deal with a toxic mother-in-law, you have to understand her, and that means understanding her motives. Taking a break from the action may be just the thing to keep you from running into the car as soon as it knocks on your front door (if it does). It might be tempting to reciprocate the abuse of your in-laws. However, it is healthy to practice behaviors that maintain your self-esteem level. Write down actions you want to avoid, such as insulting her, slamming her, or arguing with her. Also avoid talking negatively about your children. Also, try to make a plan for yourself when the urge to be cruel strikes. For example, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.
A manipulative mother-in-law not only pushes herself into your decision-making process, but can also intervene during your time alone. The more it is a part of your life, the more it can control it. You can also try reading a book about toxic in-laws and protecting your marriage from them! It`s the same for a manipulative mother-in-law as for any other. Their words say nothing about you and everything about them. The relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law is complicated. They are the two most important women in a man`s life and both have his best interests at heart. As for him, he wants nothing more than to see how well you both get along. But the path is not easy and if you have a controlling mother-in-law, you have to learn how to take care of her. This is the only way to keep your relationship under control. Being stuck between wife and family will confuse your husband about what he should do and make him angry and won`t do anything. Tell them what you expect from them and determine what might be the best way.
One of the mother-in-law`s control tactics is to get to know you so she can use that information against you. A manipulative mother-in-law may behave kindly and politely to get you to open up. Learn what can make them a monster, avoid triggers and, if that`s not possible, have an escape plan. Learning and predicting your mother-in-law`s habits can help you regain a sense of control in an otherwise helpless situation. Identify your in-laws` triggers and ways to satisfy their desires. Being hypervigilant can help you better understand what to expect from your mother-in-law. It can also be helpful not to talk to them alone. Mothers-in-law are often on guard against others, so letting her know she has a free hand when she calls could encourage her to show her best behavior. At first, you may have tried to make things perfect so that you can finally get their approval. Unfortunately, this never happened, and now you wonder what you did wrong.
If moving away from the in-laws is not an option, you should jump with both feet. By making the most of the current situation, you may be able to kindly reduce toxicity. Tell them that you realize that your partner is their child and that the transition is not easy for them. Follow it by being clear about examples of things you won`t compromise on. You may want her to call before she comes. Maybe you don`t want her to tell you how to raise your kids or wonder why you don`t make lunch for your partner every day. Go step by step to open your eyes and get his help. If you don`t want to be the wrong person in their eyes, talk about your needs, not their actions. All relationships come with joys, trials and difficulties, but when we face our.
If you can see her words as a reflection of her, you can more easily control your emotional response. I know how difficult it can be to deal with a troublesome mother-in-law. In my story, the only respite came when our little bundle of joy came into the world. If you`re not thinking about having a child and distancing yourself from your in-laws isn`t an option, there are still some things you can do to make sure your life doesn`t turn into a reality show. Improving communication in every relationship will benefit him. No, simply telling him, “Stop interfering in my relationship!” won`t solve anything. If your mother-in-law isn`t completely irrational, try to have a conversation with her on her next visit.